Vintage Icons: Audrey and Marilyn

Growing up, I saw the world of vintage beauty divided into two camps.  For me the question was, are you an Audrey, or are you a Marilyn?

As a teenager, you are so in-between that you tend to feel as if you are not who you really are yet, and furthermore, you can decide who it is you are going to be as if you are building yourself from the ground up.  I saw Audrey Hepburn in all of her tall, thin, regal glory, and I thought that I could will myself into being just like her, if only I had the self-control.  Of course, I could never force myself to be tall, but thin seemed like a choice, and I tortured myself for years to be as close to that ideal as I could.  Sadly, of course, I had missed the point entirely. 

Audrey Hepburn was extremely thin, no question, and it is hard to argue that that thinness didn’t add to her particular and special beauty.  But what I didn’t understand then was that Audrey’s true beauty really lay in her uniqueness, and in trying to copy her, you become less and less like her.  Audrey wasn’t a collection of perfection.  On the contrary, her physical beauty came from her so called imperfections.  She had big ears, big feet, and she even had an unusual nose.   She was painfully thin and very small chested.  Her eyebrows were, let’s face it, huge.  And yet, all together she was perfection.  In that way, to truly emulate Audrey would be to embrace your own uniqueness and be as you as possible, because Audrey was only ever Audrey.  She wasn’t trying to be anyone else.  That quality, along with her beautiful spirit, her grace and her amazing elegance, are what truly made her the beauty icon she is to this day, and I think those are traits worth emulating.    

Then there is Marilyn.  I never really appreciated Marilyn Monroe until I was a grown woman who had finally accepted that my body wanted to be curvy, and no amount of self-torture was ever going to change that.  Marilyn is seen as the sex kitten, and of course that was one aspect of her persona, but what I really like about her in movies like How to Marry a Millionaire or Some Like It Hot is her vulnerability mixed with the contradiction of her seemingly complete comfort in her own skin.  For me though, Marilyn’s true beauty comes out so much more in still photographs than on film.  The camera just loved her, and there are endless photos of her smiling and happy, and not covering up or hiding the way so many of us tend to do when the camera is out.  For a woman who had so much personal pain, she seemed to shine from the inside when she was being photographed. 

 There is an endless debate about Marilyn Monroe’s figure.  Was she a waifish perfect representation of the unattainable trim hourglass, or was she a plus sized beauty, happily flaunting her bodacious curves? 

The truth is, while Marilyn was never what most sane people would consider “plus sized” (a term that I hate, buy the way), she did in fact  fluctuate 20 or more pounds during her all too short life.  You can find statistics that claim she weighed 118 to over 140, and probably both are true. 

Marilyn wasn’t an icon for female beauty and empowerment because she had a 24 inch waist or because she was a plus sized beauty.  Marilyn was, and continues to be, and icon because she was a real living breathing beautiful woman, who owned her beauty and reveled in it, no matter what size she was.  Thin or thick, Marilyn never seemed shy or ashamed of showing off her beautiful body and always looked happy and proud, and I just love that quality.  That is something I truly want to embrace in myself as well, no matter what size I am. 

So now I am grown up and I don’t need icons in the same way that I did when I was young.  I can’t be and Audrey or a Marilyn because I am a Nicole.  But I don’t need to be just like them to appreciate the beauty lessons that they left behind.  I still love Audrey’s effortless style and Marilyn’s unapologetic curves.  In truth, what really made these woman lasting figures of iconic beauty was their seeming understanding of what made them beautiful and special and unique, and their own abilities to embrace those qualities in themselves rather than hiding them or letting someone else tell them how to be beautiful. 

Just imagine how many Audrey’s or Marilyn’s are out there today, too afraid to shine because someone told them that that their nose was too big or their bodies were too curvy.  Just think of what beautiful qualities you could be hiding because you have let someone else dictate what should be deemed beautiful or acceptable to like in yourself.  Always be your own icon, because no one will ever be as good at being you as you are.  Don’t hide your inner light for anybody because the things you may be hiding are part of what makes you your own unique kind of perfection. 

Rachel modeling my Etsy skirt :)

My sis came over yesterday and modeled one of my sample Etsy skirts (made for her measurements) and she let me take photos to share on the blog.  Yay!   Look how great it fits!!! 

This full gathered skirt is the prototype for the first thing I am going to sell on Etsy- and it can be custom made!  The skirt is fully lined, and has pockets.  Pretty cute right?  It doesn't hurt that Rach is such a cute model.  :)

I'm getting more and more excited about opening my shop.  I can't wait to get started! 

Guess who's going to be selling clothes on Etsy!

It's me! Yay!

I've been a little MIA around the blogosphere lately because I have been getting ready to open my own Etsy shop! For those who don't know, Etsy is an online community dedicated to selling handmade goods from around the world.

I'm really excited, but also quite nervous! One thing that has held me back from doing this sooner (besides the fact that I just started sewing in earnest last April) is my fear that I wont be able to accommodate a large enough size range. This has been really hard for me since I am all about size diversity. I'd love to offer all of my items in a range of sizes, but since I am working from my own patterns, it might take me some time to get there for every size. I plan on adding more size options as my skills improve and I get models who are willing to test my patterns (thank you Dorothy for offering to be the first pattern tester! If you are reading, I'll have your skirt sent out this weekend. :) ). Another road block is that I will only have a limited amount of any particular material, especially when I am first getting started. Lastly, I can only offer as many items as I have time to make within a reasonable time frame.

To start, I will have some ready made items in limited sizing and some custom items offered. If you really love something and it isn't in your size, please message me! If I have the skills to adjust the pattern, I would be more than happy to!  I'm not quite sure who my costumers are yet, so I will try to adjust as I go.  It will be easier for me to make custom pieces for people who I can measure myself, but don't let that scare you away from asking! The more people I make custom items for, the more confident I will be that I can offer more things to the general public. :)

So there you have it. Stay tuned for more updates! I am really excited about this journey, and so grateful to everyone who has supported me and encouraged me to do this.

I especially want to thank my sister Rachel and my friend Kimmi who have done so much to make this possible. I really couldn't have done it without you guys!!!

So, any suggestions before I open the shop (hopefully in July)? Would you be interested in buying clothes from me?  Anyone want to start putting your orders in now?  ;P  

AND NOW...a preview!  Here is a sample of the type of skirts I will be starting with.

And look!  Fully lined!

Gold Barbie Dress

So, I made my first Laurel pattern from Collette Patterns for my trip to NY.   It has been the brands most popular pattern to date for good reason.  This pattern is just itching to be re-imagined, and there are so many ways you could change it up and re-imagine it!  This “dress” (my version really is too short to be called a dress) is made of sparkly gold and black brocade and is fully lined.  I used the wrong side of the fabric because I liked it better (it was shinier).  I wore it to a Broadway play (squeal!) and to get drinks while I was in New York. 

It really is indecently short when I sit down, but I think with leggings it works.  However, I wore it with tights, so I was very careful not to bend down all night.  This dress reminds me of an 80's Barbie dress, and that makes me so happy.  The best part of being a grown up is getting to be my own Barbie!

I will make this quick and easy pattern again and again in as many different ways as I can think of.  I absolutely adore it.

 Lastly, here is a picture of Willow and I both wearing dresses I made.  Whoo hoo!  My trip to NY was a total blast and I wish I had gotten more pictures!  Oh well, I'll make sure not to go another 30 years without seeing the city again, that's for sure.  :)

Outfit Post: Green Shorts In New York

It is so sad that most of the photos from this day in New York were lost when my phone bit the dust, because this outfit was so cute!!!  The top is from Modcloth, the leggings are gap, the wedges are Born's and the shorts are by me.  Usually when I wear an outfit I think of the pieces as separates, but I bought this top specifically to wear with these shorts with the leggings underneath, and I just adore how this outfit turned out!  I can't wait to wear it again, exactly the same way (although maybe with black heals in place of the wedges). 

Growing out the pixie- month # 6

I can't beleive I have been doing this for six months and my hair is still so short!!!

The saddest part of growing out your hair is having to trim it every once in a while so that you don’t end up with a mullet or weird spots.  I just had to trim off the last back layer so that my hair should grow out more evenly from now on (yay!), but now everyone keeps telling me how short my hair looks (boo!).  Basically, I had no choice but to trim it because while this side had grown out evenly…

This side had not, and it looked like there were holes in my hair. 

That is the risk you take when you cut a short pixie, because basically what you do is just cut random chunks out of your hair all over your head (or at least that is what I do).  It looks cute when it is short, but it is none too surprising that it doesn’t grow out super evenly.  These were all taken after I trimmed my hair in mid-May, oldest to newest. 

 These were from yesterday:

Growing out your hair is such a long process, with one step forward and two steps back each time I have to even it out, no wonder I can never get through it!  On the bright side, I shouldn’t have to trim it drastically again since it is finally even and by the end of summer it should be long enough to at least put it in little pig tails, and maybe even a tiny pony tail.  By December it should be longer than I have had it in about five years!  Wow!  I’m getting excited about that, but it is going to feel like a long wait. 

The hardest thing I had to deal with this month hair wise was watching The Great Gatsby and seeing all of those great bobs and cute short bangs!  It nearly killed me not being able to go home and cut my hair, but I resisted.  I LOVE 1920’s STYLE BOBBED HAIR, but luckily right now my hair is basically a modern bob (not quite the same as the shorter flapper bob, but close enough), so I can sort of pretend.  The best part of growing out a pixie (there are good things too!) is that you get to try a few other hair styles along the way, and if you are creative, you can have some fun before it is really long again.  I must say, I am really liking the long bangs, either when I can wear them as bangs, or when I can get them off of my face.  In another month I’ll have to decide if I am keeping them or growing them out, but for now I can play a bit. Cute right?  ;)

Here is a photo from the longest my hair has ever been in the last five years (it was down my back before that) just to show how little will power I have.  I cut it pretty soon after this photo was taken.  I have a bit more faith this time, but honestly, for me, this is so so long!  Haha. 

Butterick B5813: Body Image and Sewing

Here it is, Butterick pattern B5813 number two.  For this version, I added the collar (yay! It turned out great!), and gave it long sleeves.  I also left this dress unlined, which meant that I had to figure out how to make those adjustments to the pattern, and was successful in doing so.  I like my first lined version, but I also felt like an unlined version might be a little breezier for summer.  It really turned out great, and as always, I was excited to learn new skills while making this dress. 

I really loved making this pattern but I loved wearing it even more!   There was a time when I would have thought a form fitted dress such as this was off limits to a curvy girl (side note: curvy is not code for fat!) like me, but sewing for myself has opened my eyes to all of the possibilities out there for me, and new ways to express myself through fashion.  Sewing has helped me in so many ways to express myself creatively, while also helping to broaden my horizons as to what I feel comfortable wearing and how I can present myself.   

This isn’t the first time I have broken out of my shell with fashion to wear something a little more form fitted than I might have dared before I started this blog, but this pink fitted dress really exemplifies how my style has changed and evolved, and also how I have reached a whole new level of self-acceptance through sewing.   

This blog was first created simply as a style and fashion blog that was meant to represent what I see as an underrepresented community of bloggers: average sized women.  While I follow both strait sized as well as plus sized fashion blogs, I was frustrated that there didn’t seem to be many fashion blogs that featured the in-between women like me. 

Although I was already pretty happy with and accepting of my body when I started this blog (years of practice folks), I still had some hang ups about my so called “problem areas” that we as women all believe that we have, and I focused a lot on keeping those areas covered and being careful not to emphasize them.  This can be an important part of learning to style yourself- figuring out what works for you and playing to your strengths.

On the other hand, this idea that we all have parts of our body that are shameful and therefore must be disguised is pretty disgusting to me.  Especially considering the fact that body types can go in and out of style, despite the fact that while you can lose or gain weight, you can’t change (without surgery) the overall composition of your body just because having hips or boobs, or not having hips or boobs, is currently what is or isn’t in fashion.  The whole idea that we need to mold ourselves into the shape of the moment is ridiculous, not to mention impossible. 

Still, saying every body type is beautiful is easier than living that principle when we have conditioned ourselves to believe that certain parts of our body are good, while others are bad and must be hatted and kept from the world at all costs. 

I have loved the billowy, fitted shapes of the 1950’s since my love of fashion began.  It wasn't until I was in my mid-20’s that I got to really play with the shape since it was the first time I had enough money to really dress the way I had always dreamed.  Finally, I could be my own Barbie!  I loved how the hips are free and the waist is cinched just above where my little belly might show, and I feel safe in the layers of fabric that that era can provide. 

But I also loved the loose swingy shifts of the 1920’s, or fitted curve hugging dresses (like this Butterick pattern) that I thought were reserved for thin girls, or at very least girls who are willing to squeeze into ten ponds of foundation garments so that they can mold their bodies into the proper shape (don’t get me wrong-foundation garments that don’t cause pain, have their place in my mind, but that is a post for another day).  Until I started sewing, I thought that this type of body conscious fashion wasn't for me, and I accepted that I just wasn't allowed to wear anything that might show that my curves extend to more than just my boobs and booty.  As it turns out, I also have strong, thick thighs, and yes, even a little round belly under all of that fabric, and that can actually be something to celebrate rather than hide.  I had let myself believe that being afraid to show them was normal, acceptable, and even preferable, and to do so was a shame and a crime against not only myself, but also woman kind.  

The truth is that being ashamed of our bodies, even in small measure, is a slippery slope.  It helps create a culture that believes that a body part can be in or out of fashion, and I want no part of that.  Worst of all, it creates a culture that believes that our bodies are something worth being ashamed of, because as women they are the most important part of us.  But of course, this is crazy and untrue.  We are not bodies with souls, we are souls with bodies.  

Most importantly, we need to be proud of our bodies not just for our own edification, but because the world is watching.  Our friends, sisters, and daughters are watching.  We are creating culture every moment, and we are all responsible for the messages we are sending.  To every pop singer, actress, model, teacher, mom, man, or human being of any kind that says, “I never asked to be a role model,” I say, duh.  No one asks to be a role model and there is no sign up sheet.  You just are one and so is everyone else.  Deal with it and act accordingly.   

Although it is just one step on my personal journey, sewing has been an important part of creating a healthy mindset for myself, and it is helping me to become the person that I want to be, as well as the type of person I want to represent myself as.  It has done so by opening my mind to what I feel comfortable wearing, for the simple reason that I am now able to create clothes that fit me, rather than trying to find clothes that I fit into.  Every curve can be represented (or not) depending on what makes me happy at the time.  The rules of what I can wear and what I cannot wear have been shattered, and I feel free to dress to my mood, not simply stick to what some magazine says flatters my body type.  Although I have worked hard to cultivate a love and appreciation for my body as is over the years, it wasn’t until I started sewing that I finally truly embraced it for all of its curvy, lumpy, strong, fragile, beautiful and useful glory.  If you truly believe that you are a beautiful whole person, moles, cellulite, chipped nails and all, then your world and how you are able to present yourself opens up to you. 

I’ll admit, than when I started looking through the photos of me in this dress I was tempted to not include any photo that I thought made me look too big or too curvy, but then I noticed that those were also the photos where I looked especially happy.  And I was happy that day in my little form fitted dress, and to not celebrate that part of that happiness came from a place of love for myself as I am is a missed opportunity.  

For me fashion is pure joy.  It is a way of expressing myself creatively, and as an art form I think that it has some merit in this world.  But fashion is only the opening act to the real show.  Our bodies are the truest art forms, and the most uniquely beautiful.  And we must never forget that nothing is more beautiful than confidence and a true sense of who we are underneath it all.